Martial Arts Pirate Alert!

I've been seeing these "9mm Won't Save You" advertisements all over the place, and just now, I finally decided to click on an ad, and see what they're claiming. Among their claims:

• How to get away from a larger attacker who surprises you. (It's instantaneous, keeps you safe from any blows, and puts him so "off-balanced" he's toast for your next move. And the beauty is... the bigger he is, the easier it is for you to do this!)
• How to snatch a loaded gun right out of a "Gangsta's" hand so [darn] fast it will literally tear his trigger finger off! (And then immediately, without even thinking about it, put him down for the count without even skipping a beat.)
• How to break up the most common street attacks with a single, simple move. (Instantly "cancels out" anything an experienced street fighter can throw at you.)
•  And while I'm CERTAINLY NOT going to promise you will become a TRAINED KILLER overnight...
  
            I CAN guarantee you will have the skills, confidence and near-magical ability to protect your family in a violent attack and NEVER fear any man ever again.

Can we say "Martial Arts Cult"?